BEACH PARTY MASSACRE

Don't go into the sand! The water? Well, that's a different story entirely (mostly because of the acidity content). Surfin' Worm, the stage name of Caederus Maddock, was, in fact, a giant, blood-thirsty worm the equivalent size of several space shuttles. But years of devouring vacationers on Valearl, a coastal planet made entirely of beaches, and toasty warm bodies of water, left Caederus rather empty. Hungry for more, he turned to music (mostly inspired by the incessant knocking of his prey upon his five bellies) and made a quick, pivotal turn. Subsisting on more nutritious and less blood-filled meals, his creativity hit an unbelievable stride, culminating in his fourth album, Tremors, and its two monster singles, Spice Cream and Beach Party Massacre. So popular were the two songs that more singles were banned from being released. Vinyl manufacturers were facing supply chain issues with the LP, and adding more singles to their workload would have depleted the universe of new releases for DECADES. Heavy on the bass, pedal to the metal, Surfin' Worm hit listeners with good times soaked in terror, the same kind he used to ooze as he slithered beneath the sand, waiting to launch himself into the sky, a mouthful of bathing suits and surfboards plunging into his guts. Dear Audionauts, to not have Surfin' Worm blazing on a hot beach day is as close to committing a crime as possible. Do yourself a favor, and ride the worm into the tastiest beats this side of the bonfire.